Another week gone by. How does the time go so quickly?
We signed up for “Splash Camp” at the Y today. Last month, Ryley and Grace went to Pee Wee Sports Camp. The first day felt like the first time I ever dropped either one of them off at daycare and then preschool. They looked so little out there in the middle of the field, waiting for other kids to show up and get going. I had tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat as I walked back to my car. My babies are quickly growing up. I still think of them as needing me so much, and being my babies. These are little people. They are separate from me, and have their own little lives. I wish I could climb inside their brains, know what they are thinking, how they are reacting to things.
We signed Ryley up for his first structured, competitive sport. He will start soccer (PeeWee at the Y) on August 27th. I have a feeling it’s giong to be painful to watch as they all bunch around the ball instead of staying in positions, but after experiencing the first year with all my brother and sister’s kids, I know it’s to be expected. It’s still amazing to me to watch him run around, go to preschool, climb, swim, etc., just like a “normal” kid. I never thought nearly five years ago, as I saw my 2 lb’er for the first time, that we would ever bring him home, much less have a 4 year old running around, starting soccer.
He and I have been having some of those moments this week that you just want to freeze time, or permanently imprint on your brain. Lately, he will just say “I love you mommy” out of the blue with nothing particular going on. The other night, I was putting him to bed. I lay down next to him to sing “You Are My Sunshine” which I have been singing to him since he was in the NICU, and just stared at his tired little face. He still has a preemie head, and there is some really blond hair on the side of his neck and at his hairline in front, exactly the color he had all over his head when he was first born. It took me back to those long hours of watching him lay first in the isolette, and then in the open crib, in the hospital. My heart nearly stopped, the feeling was just right there once again. Then I pulled him close, and just hugged him tight, thanking God for the blessing of Ryley in my life, and the miracle of Ryley surviving.