I have four sisters. We have a blended family, but they are just my “sisters”. If you want to get technical, I have a half-sister (same Daddy), Debby, a full sister, Amy, and two step-sisters, Tina and Kim. I’m second to youngest of the bunch. My Daddy has been married to my step-mom for 12 years, so we’ve all been together for a long time, and we’re all pretty close. It’s fun to have a big family. It also brings with it a lot of drama. I love my sisters, and could not imagine life without them. Sometimes I’m really sad for Grace….no sisters for her, just two brothers. I worry and feel guilty for all that she will miss out on by not having a sister….no sharing clothes, make-up, boyfriends, shoes; no fighting over clothes, make-up, boyfriends, or shoes. But no more babies for us, so no sisters for Grace.
My sister has cancer. There. I said it out loud. Give me a minute. I’ve been in denial on this for almost two years. The day I had Ethan, the surgeon removed a 15 pound tumor from Debby’s abdomen, one of her kidneys, and 9 cms of the vena cava artery. She has been going through different treatments ever since. Last Thursday, she had her third surgery. What they found was not good. She has large, aggressive lesions on her liver which have not responded to any of the past treatments. I don’t know what’s going to happen now. I know it’s not good. Liver cancer is not good. My sister might die. She’s 50 years old. She has two kids, Clay and Sarah, and two grandsons, AJ and Darrius. She has been my role model for so many things……She is an amazing parent, an involved/loving grandparent, and she and my brother in law have one of those marriages we can only pray for. She is the queen of the siblings….keeps us in line, keeps us laughing, keeps us going even in the worst of times. When I was on bedrest before I had Ryley, she sent the biggest basket to me…full of magazines, lotions, candy, and chocolate chip cookies. When we moved to our new house, she sent a wall wreath that exactly matched my dining room. She’s just one of those people. She has cancer. She might die. I can hardly get those words out.
Yesterday at church, the pastor started a series on why bad things happen to good people. As soon as I saw the title, I started to cry. He started to speak, and the tears just rolled down my face as I prayed for my sister, for my family, for those babies of SHARE who have become angels, for my Ryley, for all the survivors who struggle to this day. But I cried for Debby. A good person going through a bad thing. And I cried for myself, for what will be gone from my life if this horrible disease takes her.