I promise, I will write about NYC and the SHARE Union soon…..I have to take some time to sort out my thoughts and emotions (of which there are A LOT!), and then I will tell you all about my experience (which was AMAZING)….
Today, I need a little help. Ryley was recently diagnosed with asthma and has his asthm action plan, get his puffer and nose spray every morning, and Singular every night. I have been giving him his meds faithfully since we got our plan and his new meds. I was a little worried about being gone for three days. Would Michael keep up the routine? I don’t expect him to do everything exactly as I do when it comes to the kids, and I’ve learned to let go a little bit, but I was concerned. Since we started this plan, Ryley has done really well. I know colds will come and go, especially being in preschool full time, but we’d held off everything for almost a month.
Here is why I was so afraid….Michael doesn’t really believe there’s anything “wrong” with Ryley. I asked him straight out the other day as my fears surfaced. He rolls his eyes when I give Ryley his meds. He doesn’t think Ryley needs them. He doesn’t think he has asthma. WHAT? I looked at him like he had three heads. I specifically asked him on Saturday to please give Ryley his puffer and other meds, whether he believes it or not….I am not having a repeat of last year…….Four visits to the dr’s office, threee visits to Radiology, four rounds of albuterol and everything else we could think of to keep him from going into pneumonia. Michael agreed, he would give him his meds. I leave them on the counter just so they’re out and I will remember everyday.
I got home yesterday and went to pick Ryley and Grace up. The first thing I notice after hugs and kisses is the yucky green stuff coming out of Ryley’s nose, and that his voice is crackling with congestion. I asked if he had been getting his medicines….Nope, Daddy didn’t give it to me, Ryley said. WHAT? Now, Ryley has been known to not always be as truthful as he could be (he’s five…self–preservation has kicked in full force!), so I thought I’d better check with Michael. As soon as Michael got home, I asked him. Nope, he hadn’t been giving Ryley his meds. Why, I asked. “He doesn’t need them…He’s fine….He’s not coughing” was the answer I received. I nearly exploded. How could my own husband, the father of our preemie, say that, after all we’ve been through? Is it still denial on his part? Does he still honestly believe that once we left the NICU, we had a “normal” child? Does he not think that there could be any after-affects of being born 14 weeks early?
I woke in the night to hear Ryley coughing. He was still coughing, that dry hacking cough this morning. The peak flow meter still showed blessedly green, but we are back on schedule with the meds as of this morning, and the preschool director knows to give him his inhaler if the coughing persists throughout the day.
How do I deal with my husband? How do I get through to people who don’t know anything about premature births and preemies if I can’t even get my husband to deal with it?