Hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. Ours was spent at home, dinner across the street at our friends’ house, along with 25 other people…..
My mom was in town for the holiday weekend. I love my mom….She is my mother after all, and one of the strongest people I know. She has survived and endured so much in her life. Her father died on her 19th birthday, she couldn’t go to college as planned, she nearly lost her and my brother’s lives when she had him, her marriage ended in divorce after 23 years, and she is the last of her immediate and most of her extended family since her sister died last May. She lives alone, works a lot, takes care of her house, her dog, her cat, and her fish. She keeps going, despite a heart condition and numerous illnesses. She has been handed some of the worst in life. Most of the time, she lets me know about it……This is where the problems lie. My mother and I do not see eye to eye. We are VERY different people. I was always a Daddy’s girl, which caused problems before and more after her marriage to my father disolved. I have the life she wished for….went to college, had a great career, have a good marriage, and we are relatively “comfortable”. We both have/had three beautiful children. She can be bitter and envious. She can reinvent history and convince herself that is exactly how it was. Weekends with her can be a challenge. There are days that I can’t listen to her. I feel awful that there are times I don’t want to be around her. Then I pray with all my heart that Gracie is not saying the same thing about me 30 years from now!!!
The relationships between mothers and daughters are complicated. They can be absolutely beautiful. They can be absolutely ugly. I wonder why that is? My weekend with my mother was one of my better ones. We talked about Ryley, we talked about SHARE and my need to be involved with MOD. She had good, quality time with my children, and they were so excited to see her. This was the first visit with her where I didn’t have to hear how “nice it must be” to have this or be able to do that. She was genuinely happy for me, positive about my marriage, my children, my parenting, my life. Mothers and daughters…Hmmmmm……….