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A repeat

Geez, give me access to SHARE again, and all of the sudden you can’t shut me up!!! Just call me blog-hog!! Now you really know why I’ve missed this so much!!! LOL!!

This is probably a repeat of a few other blogs of mine, only the ages have changed. POTTY TRAINING!!!!! GGGGGRRRRRRR!!!!!!!
It’s been two and a half years since we started on this road with Ryley. Sometimes, I feel like we’re still back on day one. He had been doing really well for the most part over the holidays, but the past few days, not so good. And that dreaded plastic bag was in his cubby, AGAIN, when I picked him up at school yesterday. He’s 5 1/2!!!! When does it end? When do we catch a break? In the grand scheme of things that COULD have gone wrong with this 26-weeker, but when you’re in it, it’s the most frustrating thing ever. I am starting to think that maybe he just will be the first kid to go off to college still wearing pull-ups and still wetting his pants!!!! Yesterday, counting the accident at school, he had THREE accidents! And just why do they call them “accidents”? He just waits too long, or couldn’t care less if he’s wet! AARRRGGGHHHH!!!!!

He’s not a stupid kid in the least. I KNOW he knows how to do this…well, most of the time anyways. I used to think there was something physically wrong with him, but after a month of being consistently dry (daytime only), I KNOW he can do it. Why he won’t is another story entirely. And we still aren’t even close at night. Michael has gotten him up at least twice during the night, every night, for the past week to go potty. He is still soaking in the morning. We’ve limited his late afternoon/evening fluid intake for over a year now, and still no success. I thought he might be inspired when his younger sister has no accidents, nd has been pull-up free for almost six months. NOTHING! At this point, I don’t even think it will affect him if Ethan is completely potty trained before he is!

I honestly don’t know what to do anymore. Ryley and I had a conversation last night. I told him he really has to try harder. He starts kindergarten in the Fall, and I don’t want other kids to laugh at him….that would hurt him so badly, and it would completely break my heart. I just don’t know what to say to him anymore, don’t know what to do.

Sorry for ranting again on this subject. It consumes me anymore, and it’s making me CRAZY!!!

11 thoughts on “A repeat

  1. Donna, I’m so sorry you have to deal with this still….I know Taylor isn’t a preemie, but it could just be a kid thing…she was 4 1/2 before she was potty trained completely. One day I told her, *you know you can’t ride the bus to school until you go potty in the potty ALL the time*….2 weeks later she was DONE & has had maybe 3 accidents in the past 6 years!! Sometimes you just have to find what will influence them…which I know you have….something will click with him & he’ll realize he’s gotta do this!! Hugs & dry pull-ups to you, my dear friend!!

  2. Ohhhhh, I’m so sorry! I totally know this frustration. Aleks is still in diapers full time at 4 years old. I would have never guessed that he’d learn to read before being able to use the potty. And this is on that “list”. You know, the list that parents can’t control? Eating, sleeping and pottying. We can’t make our kids do any of those things – they must do it themselves. This only compounds the frustration when they have no desire. I also believe that Logan will be trained before Aleks. And he too, is totally unphased by this. He likes diapers. Doesn’t mind sitting in his own poopy. Doesn’t care that he is the smelly kid – the 4 yr old with a poopy diaper. *sigh* So, although I have ZERO words of advice or wisdom, I can totally relate to this frustration. I can’t wait til there are no more diapers in my house, and quite seriously, it may be when Ali leaves for college. Darcy

  3. Donna,
    I sooo totally understand. Rachel was not completely potty trained (daytime) until the summer before she started Kindergarten. She would get to play and forget to go to the potty. She is 5 1/2 and doing well during the day but still in pull-ups at night. Some kids are slower than others. I think William will be able to master it a lot sooner than the others but we will see. Hope you have dry pull-ups and no accidents soon. God Bless,

  4. From all the babies I’ve cared for while doing daycare, babysat or just babies in the family… boys were the toughest to train by far. I had a cousin that was putting his own diapers on before he learned to use the potty (he would refuse to sit on the potty)… daycares refused my older nephew because he was still in diapers…. my nephew Malachi however trained himself… he still had accidents but was under 2 and taking himself most of the time to the potty. My niece Hailee also trained herself… never had ONE accident and then she starts school…. and has had several….. we think it’s because she doesn’t slow down and go to the bathroom… holds it and has accidents. We now say before leaving to go anywhere “Go to the bathroom now”… they go and still we get to a store and hear the dreaded “I have to go pee”… we think that they are privately bathroom quality control experts on a secret mission… I don’t love the bathroom so much that I have to go and visit one at each stop… lol. Good luck with Riley… try not to be too upset with him… maybe reward him for the dry days… and see if that makes him switch things around…. eventually it will become habit for him….

  5. Donna –
    I hate to be the 3rd one to say this…but I don’t have any great words of wisdom either. Leighton is 3 1/2, and she still has accidents. She is totally accident free at home (except night, and she still has to wear a pull up to bed), but if we leave to go anywhere – I put a pull up on her. Can’t deal with changing clothes while I’m out. I think she just waits to long to go. At home…..she can barely make it to the bathroom because she just holds it too long. I keep saying that someday it will get better…..so hopefully it will! Denise

  6. Ohhh Donna! Well if it makes you feel any better, I do know some people with children that aren’t preemies that had their kids heads checked for reasons just like this, and they were normal. It’s called stubborness! I’m so sorry you have to deal with this, maybe he has an overactive bladder!? hhuggss** and lots of good vibes

  7. Thanks guys for all the support and encouragement. It does help to know I’m not alone (strangely enough!), and that my kid is likely not brain damaged (which I know I callously joke about and shouldn’t!). It is the most frustrating process I’ve ever been through in my life. It has so tortured me that I am already living in fear of even approaching the subject with Ethan! HUGS!

  8. Ethan might be easy… when the time is right just start sending him in to watch his brother go pee and he just might pick it up on his own…. lol.

  9. Donna, Oh sweetie… I didn’t realize this was still an issue!! I’m sorry!! I have two things to offer, but don’t know if either will help. First… Ian, *you know my only full term kid*, was trained, during the day at 2 1/2… but night time… was a *completely* different story. He wasn’t trained at night until almost 4 1/2… thats a big difference. You may ask.. Why is she telling me this? Here’s the deal.. forget about nighttime!!! Just leave him in a pull up and don’t stress him or yourself about it. He’s just not ready.. for whatever reasons… immature bladder, deep sleeper… who knows!! We tried all those same tricks.. waking him, fluid deprivation… to no avail!! He just stopped doing it slowly… and we took the pull up away. As for the day time… I don’t know if this will help or not.. and maybe you’ve tried this… but here’s my suggestion. Call me mean, cruel, whatever. Ryley wants to be a big boy and do big boy things… such as play video games (I have no idea if he does this… but find his vice.. whatever it is.. that gives him big boy status). When he has his next accident… take that “toy” away… and tell him when he can show you… by consistently using the potty… and having NO accident…. then he can have that toy back.. as long as he stays dry.. but the first accident.. and its gone again. I tell you this, because I had to do this with Ian, about 3 months ago. He would be so caught up in playing his PS2 that he had 3 “accident” in one week. In my opinion thats inexcusable. I told him he knows that feeling, and he needs to listen to his body… pause the game.. go and then come back and continue. It was his being lazy… being a kid… but lazy none the same. He lost PS2 for 3 days.. equal to his number of accident… Then we would try again… if he could be a big boy.. he could have big boy toys. You get the idea. I know potty training and discipline aren’t to be mixed…. but at this point… I would say Ryley is trained. He’s gone weeks, and weeks with no accident. He knows the urge, he recognizes it… he just needs to keep up with his “job”. I hope I haven’t overstepped… by offering this.. if I have I’m sorry!! I just know how frustrated you’ve been with this.. and I want to help!! HUGS to calm your nerves!

  10. Donna…I’m holding onto what *you* told *me*. Our children will NOT go to college in pull ups. It won’t happen. The school nurse in college will not write home to mommy saying….”Send extra clothes, Ryley wet his extras”…or “Callie wet herself during organic chemistry today and her professor slipped on it while lecturing. He too came to see me today for bruised ego and rear end”…. See it can’t be *that* bad?! Right?! HUGS! It will all work itself out…and Ryley will forget how much his ability to produce body waste was admired and praised. That too is a *good* thing. Melissa

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