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At wits end

Just as an addendum to Friday’s blog…..Right after I posted, a huge bouquet of long-stemmed red roses entered my office. I have the BEST husband in the world!! They’re absolutely beautiful! Girls’ night for Friday night got cancelled…What wife could go out with the girls after getting flowers from her hubby? So we spent a quiet night at home Friday night. Saturday night, we had a sitter and went out for dinner and then to the wine bar. We just talked, and talked, and talked. It was exactly what we needed!!

On the flip side of things, I let my guard down over the weekend. All three kids are sick in one way or another, so I am at home yet again. Ryley can’t even do his peak flow meter because he can’t breathe in to blow without coughing. I can’t count his resp because he can’t go 10 seconds without coughing. I’m not even sure how much of his inhalers he got in he was coughing so much. Ethan ran a fever all day yesterday, wanted to just be held, wouldn’t eat, wouldn’t play. He’s doing better today, but now he says it hurts whenever I change his diaper. Grace ended up in our bed at 10:30 last night, complaining about her tummy hurting her. She’s been complaining about it off and on since she had the stomach virus last week. Last night, I nearly hauled her into the ER…her tummy was distended and rock-hard. And I’m freaked…..I know way too much after having a preemie, and having so many friends now with preemies and birth defects. I started to panic. We’re currently waiting to hear back from the doctor to see if we can get them all in today, preferably at the same time, but that’s not likely, especially on a Monday!

And the news gets worse…..Friday afternoon, I got a call from preschool. Ryley had pee’d and pooped in his pants during circle time at school!!!!!!!! I knew he’d been wetting himself much more frequently lately, but the pooping was a new thing. And it seems it wasn’t an accident. The teacher saw him straining (tmi, I know….SORRY!) and told him to go to the bathroom, but it was too late. UNBELIEVABLE!! I told the director I am at my wits end. I have absolutely no clue what to do with this kid anymore. We agreed that we would continue at home and at school making him clean up after himself and change his own clothes, and that would be the end of the attention on the matter. Also, he now has a sticker program at home and at school. He gets a sticker for each day he stays dry. If he gets five stickers in a row, he gets a prize. We also are going to follow up with the doctor to absolutely rule out any physical reason for the wetting before we do anything else about the “accidents.” Yesterday, he wet himself six times!!!!! I was nearly in tears by the third time, and Michael was just about ready to lose it. I don’t know what to do. This is scarring me for life I think. Everytime I think about it, my heart just races. Everytime I think about what it will be like to train Ethan, I just flip. I can’t do it anymore. I’ve gotten beyond even feeling bad for him, especially since he doesn’t seem to care. The director said there’s been no social backlash at school because, according to her, he’s “uber popular” with the pre-k set and they don’t even seem to notice it. It likely won’t be that way in t-ball this Spring, nor in kindergarten this Fall. I’m terrified he will NEVER live it down if he has an accident during a game and/or when he starts kindergarten, and he will always be “that kid” that wets his pants…..A social pariah….

Sorry this is so long and so whiny. I know I have little to complain about in the grand scheme of things….Darcy, you and Logan continue in my prayers. Keep us posted. Michele, I hope all is going okay with Brandon in the hospital. Get us an update when you can. Melissa, how is Callie doing today? She’s been on my mind all weekend. Sharlene, I know George Daniel just loved his balloons on Friday. Can’t wait to read your account of his celebration!!


8 thoughts on “At wits end

  1. Donna, I am so glad that you & Michael got to spend some time together this weekend….I think it helped pave the way for what was coming & gave you a sense of sanity & togetherness!! I am so very sorry that all the kids are sick! YUCK!! Yuck for them…yuck for you & Michael!! YUCK!! As far as Ryley….the fact that he *knows* and is doing it…..I don’t know how to react to that one….never had that problem! Does he wear the *pull ups* so he doesn’t leak through if he has an accident? I know you may consider that *condoning* this behavior, I was just curious if he does! Hoping & praying that you can get all of them in to be seen….soon!! Praying Grace’s is just a minor stomach bug, nothing serious, Ethan’s is just a bug, nothing seriuos, and that Ryley gets his breathing/coughing under control, that has to hurt! Praying you find answers to all of it, and his training problem!!! Hugs & dry pants!!!!!!!!!!

  2. Donna –
    I *truly* wish I had the answers for you. We went through this very same thing with Leighton. In fact – to this day, she still says “I don’t potty in my panties, right? Only in the potty”. It was the HARDEST thing to do – and certainly put a strain on my marriage. Charlie was beside himself because he KNEW she knew better, and that just ticked him off. It was a mess. Hoping and praying all works out soon – with the sickness and the pottying. So glad you had such a good weekend. Charlie and I need one of those! Maybe I’ll take a hint from you……… Denise

  3. Oh Donna! Red roses on a Friday! The weekend looks bright whenever *that* happens! I’m so glad that you and Michael had a nice evening chatting and enjoying each other’s company. How ironic that you blogged about your wonderful hubby on Friday! I”m soooooo sorry Ryley is still having “accidents”. I can only imagine how frustrating that is….and how tired you get of talking to Ryley, hubby, teachers, doctors, and goodness knows who else about it. As you’ve told so many of us before….”He won’t go to college pooping in his pants!” Callie is MUCH better! Thanks for your care and thoughts. She is still a little wheezy…But her appetite is much improved….And her wet cough has mostly dried up. YAY! HUGS to you!!!! Hope your house full of cuties soon is well again. Cheers to you and Michael!

  4. {{{{DONNA}}}}} and lots of beams for energy, insight, patience, solutions, breakthroughs, recoups and, last but not least, still getting that evening at the wine bar!

  5. Donna, What a treat! Roses! You do have a great hubby! I’m so sorry that you’re still struggling with the potty thing…I wish I had some advice for you. Prayers! Page

  6. Keep your head up Donna. Things will get better. Something that I tell myself everyday, “God dont’ give us more than we can handle.” Believe me I have questioned it several times. Angi “Phoenix’s Mom”

  7. What a sweet husband you have! Sorry everyone got so sick though. Yuck. The accidents while potty training sound so frustrating! Hoping Ryley works that out soon. Ugh! HUGS to you – you need them! Kara

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