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Snails……in my house!

I will be the first to admit that I am not the best mom to boybarians………And yet God has chosen to bless me with two of them (three if you count my husband, which you really have to). I hate messes, I hate dirt, I don’t like LOUD, and really do not understand the need to destroy everything in sight. And, while I LOVE watching sports, I simply do not enjoy actually playing them. A ball flying anywhere near my head is enough to send me packing. I cannot teach them to hit, kick, swing, catch, or throw. If swimming, gymnastics, cheerleading, acrobats, or singing end up being their forte, then I’m in. Fast cars are not the highlight of my life. Dirt mounds in the backyard do not encite visions of motorcross or GI Joe missions (Rescue Heroes nowadays, I guess). Days spent out in a small boat in the middle of a lake do not sound like time well spent in my book, unless I have a good book, a couple of beers, and some good ole country music along for the ride. Fish are something to be looked at, not hooked, cleaned or eaten.

Tonight, there were snails in my house. How did this happen, you might ask? Boys……boys, boys, boys…..and boy toys. Boy toys that are inside and outside toys. Not because they were designed that way, mind you, but because that’s what boys do with toys. Take them outside. Run them into the dirt. Bury them for weeks on end in the mud. Dig them out when Daddy starts getting the garden area ready for Spring planting. Boys that hide their toys on top of the play structure, and them bring them back down again after weeks of cold weather and a weekend of rain. And boys that bring those toys back inside after all this adventurousness outside.

I was doing my usual evening clean-up of said toys…….attempting desperately to contain the mountain of toys my kids have in the playroom (hah! My whole house is their “playroom” anymore!)…….I was reaching for a truck (one of 50 just like it!) in the hallway near the kitchen when I saw it……Right there on the floor……A SNAIL!!!! IN MY HOUSE!!!!!!! I FREAKED!!!!!! An insect of any kind in my house is enough to send me into panic mode……I HATE BUGS! “A snail!!” I scream. “A WHAT?” I hear back from my husband and oldest son….”A SNAIL!!! IN MY HOUSE!!!” and they come running….not to protect me, not to rescue me, but to inspect and to laugh. The snail was quickly snatched up and placed (okay, so Ryley tossed it into the middle of the street to be run over by a passing car) outside where it belongs. And then all was nearly calm again. Ryley picked up the offending truck to put it BACK outside, and I hear him start to laugh…you know that laugh…the one that comes from deep down in the belly…..I was opening the door for him to put the truck outside when I heard that laugh. Instinct told me to not look but it was like a train wreck. I had to look….There, on the bottom of that truck were THREE MORE snails, much bigger than the first. AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! And the truck went outside, never to know the inside of this house again!

Boys indeed!!!! I know that God is surely laughing as He watches me each day with these boys. And the sad part is, I know this is just the beginning! Thank goodness I have ONE girl!

5 thoughts on “Snails……in my house!

  1. Hehehehehhehehe I am ROFL!!!! Snails!!!! Hehehehehehehehehhe You are such a Diva D…and we love you for it. Dance with Grace….that sounds like just the medicine you need! Melissa

  2. Oh! MY! Tummy! Hurts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! aheahehahahea. My boys would have captured, caged and raised them and they would now be “pets” in my house – so consider yourself off the hook at least a little bit.
    And I have to admit… I am a little jealous. You have snails in your area! You live in warmth. My boys have only seen snails in Florida but they were much more fascinated by lizards (fast moving, I think). Welcome to my world!!!!!!!!!! aehaehahea.
    Great blog. Thanks for the giggles.

  3. Hey Donna…. My poor mother had to put up with three boys. And growing up in Florida…we brought home frogs, toads, tadpoles, turtles, SNAILS and even worse…snakes. In fact, two snakes escaped from their cages and was loose in the house for a couple of days. I’m pretty sure my mom would relate. – James

  4. If I ever find any snakes in my house, I will run away from home!! Don’t know how your mom did it, James!!! But have you heard of the mother’s curse? It’s where mom wish upon their children 10 just like them…………..

  5. Hahahahahahahaha!! I laugh, only because it’s not my house!! YUCK.. bugs, snakes, spiders, frogs!! All of it! I’m with you Diva D… I don’t like any of it, and most definitely don’t want it in my house. Frightening thing is.. I have 3 boys in my house… and we back up to a lake. At least I can pray for winter to come… so all things living outside cease to exist, for several months anyway! HUGS!

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