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Unbelievable

I get an email once a week, I don’t even remember from where, but it’s a parenting/about your child thing. Probably through Parents magazine.

First of all, I got one on Monday that was titled “Your 23 month old, week 4″….I was blown away. I mean, I KNOW Ethan’s 2nd birthday is Saturday, but it just put it right there….right in front of my face where there was no escape (I always think about Dori from Find Nemo when I hear, see, or say the word “escape”…really weird, but that’s a completely different tangent all together!). My youngest, my baby, is truly a toddler, no longer a baby. So sad. I know I should take joy in his discovery of the world, all of his newfound skills, and the new stages he enters, but I’m just sad. I know I’ve said it before, but he’s my last and I so wanted to hold onto the baby in him. He adamantly refused me that from the get-go, rolling over at 2 1/2 mos, crawling at 5 1/2 mos, walking at 9 1/2 mos, all his teeth by 12 mos……I hardly remember the time he was in the “slug” phase, it was so short-lived. And now he’s nearly two. Almost makes me want to do it again, but I’m not getting younger, Michael absolutely says no and has been “fixed” for nearly a year, and do I really want four?(in some crazy, lunatic, lost-my-mind way, yes I do!)…….Nuts I tell ya!

The second email arrived today…..how to make time-outs effective. HAH! I laughed out loud at my computer. So I had to read it, of course…When I clicked on it, there was a box within the article about what type of parent are you….Hmmmm….a survey. Ever in doubt of my true capabilities as a mother, I had to complete the 15 question survey. Who wouldn’t? Probably most of you, but I’m a masochist. And I HAD to know…what type of Mommy am I? So I did the survey, which turned out to be pretty painless. Then the results came up. One of the questions had been about working full time or SAHM…I work fulltime (which will hopefully be coming to an end within the next few months) and get pretty stressed sometimes. The article/results actually said to “try to get up 30 minutes before your children awake, have a cup of coffee and a shower uninterrupted”…..Say What? UNBELIEVABLE!!!!!!!!! These people obviously don’t know my kids…..To accomplish this feat, I would probably have to get up at 4:30AM!!!!! Ryley and Grace are regularly trying to crawl into my bed at 4:30 or 5, and all three are generally up for the day by 5:30 or 5:45. It’s positively obscene. I really had to laugh. Were these people for real? I almost emailed them back just to shed some light on reality. Then I just laughed. Uninterrupted showers went by the wayside a LONG time ago, never to return until they leave the house for good. And coffee that isn’t cold only happens when I get it at work. I just sat there, and stared at my computer screen. And then started to laugh.

11 thoughts on “Unbelievable

  1. Crack me up!! I wonder when I will shower when all of my boys are NOT in cribs that they cannot get out of…. Happy early birthday to your *baby*!! Kara

  2. Happy birthday Ethan….and Donna, you really must have selective memory on the “slug” phase. I’m so utterly beyond exhausted that I actually believe that I can feel the blood rushing through my veins. Bleh!

  3. James, I’d trade you a slug for a counter climbing, beating his sister over the head with a light sabre 2 year old in a heartbeat!!! Hang in there..it doesn’t last forever, unfortunately!

  4. Donna,
     Omg,what a crock! Lol! These “tests” and the “results” are just unbelievable! The people who come up with them obviously don’t have kids and probably have never even been around kids!
     Too funny!
     Happy Birthday to Ethan on Saturday!
    Callie

  5. Donna~ I am laughing reading your post. I am right there with you. I always had idealistic thoughts of the kind of parent I would be and the kind of children I would have. How ignorant was I? Sometimes I can’t get a shower in a day because my kids are climbing the walls and I have absolutely no control over them. Glad I am not the only one.
    Desiree

  6. Donna, As I sit here laughing my head off thinking…*that means I’d have to get up at 4:30am everyday too*…to *be a good mom*…HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Taylor gets up at 5am…almost everyday….I’m thankful she’s not the hard one to wake up…but some days I LOVE waking up before her…but not so much as to get up THAT early…have they lost their minds….do they realize we parents don’t go to bed early enough to warrant getting up that early…sleep deprivation is not a thing we want to promote!! lol!!! Thanks for the laugh!! Hugs to you, your baby is two!!!! I know how hard that hits you, as he’s your baby, your last, your last glimpse of *baby*!! Just think (this is what a friend told me the other day)…a few more years and you’ll have grandkids!! WHA? I laughed…knew you would too!!! HUGS!!!!! Oh, and James, don’t worry, you get used to that *no sleep* feeling!! It’s something your body just gets accustomed to…until they’re about….dunno….50!!! Hugs Donna!!!!
    Sharlene

  7. Donna, AHAHAHAHAHA!! Too funny.. you’re cracking me up!! Uninterrupted “anytime” in the bathroom, is one of those things no one tells you about when you’re preparing for parenthood. Kirk thinks he has the best solution… “Lock the door”… Yeah right, and then listen as your 2 year old screams in hysteria…. as if you’ve locked *him* in cage, and left, never to return again. I’m with you… I *MISS* my baby!! He is a *big* Momma’s boy, so that helps… but he’s not a baby. I guess we’ll have to rely on friends to have babies for us to get our baby fixes. Of course that may mean finding new friends… we’re not getting any younger!! Maybe we could go spend a week at James’ house and get a baby fix. Are you in? Okay James… pack your bags… you and Kristen are getting your first vacation.. so Donna and I can get our baby fix!! HUGS.. and thanks for the laughs!!
    Karri

  8. Wait, wait! me too! I want a baby fix, too! My baby isn’t a baby either. *sob* Donna…. it’s so sad isn’t it? So hard to see the littlest one grow up. I mean, watching the oldest grow fast is hard, too… but when the *baby* is done with the crib, done with the cute little clothes… oh, my heart just breaks as I pack up each adorable little onesie never to be on another baby of mine again.
    I can’t believe he will be 2! When I first “met” you, he was a baby. And now he is a big boy. Being a mom is hard! Hang in there. And you know how I feel about 4:30 am. ’nuff said! *hugs* You’re a GREAT mom.
    Darcy

  9. Donna –
    Here – you can have the kleenex back…..maybe you gave them to me too soon? I’m right there with you. Where does the time go? Ugh…it just breaks my heart how fast they grow up. And surely the people who wrote that article have NO children. Otherwise, they’d know how inaccurate their theory is! I, too, would be up at 4am if I wanted 1/2 an hour to myself! HAH! Denise

  10. By some of those magazines, your suppose to be up 24 hours a day. And they call that being a mom. I don’t understand where they get their info? I would laugh at it too. Angi “Phoenix’s Mom”

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