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Heavy hearted

My day has come crashing down. My Daddy just called. My grandmother, his mommy, is in a coma, and not expected to last the day. She’s 97, and has has a good long life, but it’s still sad. It’s really hard to see my Dad going through this loss.

My parents split up after I graduated from High School. My Dad went into a depression, which wasn’t helped by the fact that he has had a heart condition since I was 14. The depression meds they put him on made him stutter so badly, he could hardly speak. He wrote faster than he talked. That lasted for about six months or so. He could think the word he wanted, but he couldn’t say the word he wanted. It was so painful to see him that way. My Dad had been invincible in my mind….it hurt so much to see him struggle that way, to fight his way through each day, to work through the depression and come out the other side. Now, whenever he gets really upset, the stuttering comes back. The whole time I was on the phone with him while he was telling me about my grandmother, he was stuttering again.

I love my grandmother. Madeline Lewis has had a wonderful, long life. She has always been feisty, as long as I can remember. Up until about 10 years ago, she would still get on a bus to Reno or Tahoe, and go gamble. She even went out on some dates then too. Her health has declined over the past few years, but she was still completely mentally there. She is amazing. A little spitfire. We called her “Little Grandma” because she stood about 4’10” on a good day, when the wind was blowing right. She had nine children, I can’t even begin to count how many grand, great-grand, and even great-great grandchildren, and was married twice (both were amazing men…..my Dad’s daddy died before I was born, but I remember her second husband and he was awesome to us kids). Ninety-seven years is a long time to live. And she has LIVED every day to the fullest she knew how.

I am worried about my dad. He’s taking this really hard. I worry about his health and how this will affect that. Don’t get me wrong, I am sad that my grandmother’s life is coming to an end. She’s an inspiration. I just want my Daddy to be okay.

14 thoughts on “Heavy hearted

  1. Oh Donna, my heart breaks reading this story. I know you worry about your Dad and how this will affect him. Knowing that you care so much and that you’ll be right there beside him is so much comfort to him. I pray for him & your family today, as you deal with this. Praying for Grandma. She sure sounds like a great woman…now we know where you get it from! Hang in there, sweetie!! You will not go through this alone…we’re right here for ya’!!! Hugs & lotsa love!!

  2. Oh… I pray that your dad can find comfort through this pain. It’s never easy to say goodbye to someone we love, even when we try and rationalize a long, full life. Still hurts.
    Praying for your grandma, you, your family but esp your dad. *hugs* I wish this part of life was easier. My sincere wishes for peace for him,

  3. Donna, I’m so sorry you are having to endure this. I know the pain you are feeling right now and I am so sorry your family is having to endure this. It’s all still so fresh for me, so if you need to talk, please don’t hesitate to call me! Amy

  4. My dear friend, I am thinking of you and your family during this difficult time. Many hugs sent your way. Love,

  5. Donna,
    Thoughts and prayers for your family, especially your dad. Your grandmother sounds simply amazing! What a woman! Thank you for sharing your grandmother with us and, again, thinking about you guys. Kara

  6. Donna, You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers during this difficult time. Big Hugs to you,

  7. Sweetheart … My eyes have filled with tears … and my heart has cracked a little … to read all you are going through …. I am *so* very sorry that your grandmother is in a coma … I am *so* very sorry your dear daddy is dealing with health issues while holding on to these last moments of his momma’s life … I am *so* sorry that your family is going through yet another trial … Honey .. I am *so* sorry. Know you are in my heart and prayers. God Bless you. Love, Melissa

  8. Donna,
    I am sorry you are going through the pain of losing your grandmom. And also the pain of watching your father’s heart break. You and your family will be in my prayers this week. This trip I am taking is very important because my father also is in poor health with a heart condition. He has been on and off for the last 12 years. He has never met my daughter, neither has my sister. God bless you and your family through this difficult time. Karen

  9. Dear Donna, I am so sorry for your pain and for your dad’s health issues! Rest assured, we are all here for you with a big shoulder waiting for you to rest your head on! I’m thinking about you and sending beams of sunshine your way! Hugs,

  10. Hey, my Diva “D”… No words, just lots of prayers and hugs from a distance. Many hugs and much love!

  11. I am so sorry to hear the news that your grandmother is not doing well. I hope that your father gets through the trying time OK. Just let us know if you need anything. Angi “Phoenix’s Mom”

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