I don’t know what’s happening at my house. My champion sleeper, my easiest ever kid to put to bed has been invaded by the sleep-less monster. Since we got back from our trip to my grandmother’s funeral last week, Ethan has not wanted to sleep in his bed, and is waking up at night. This is so unusual and abnormal for him. Since he was about 7 months old, we’ve had a bedtime routine. We get jammies on, brush teeth, read a few books in the rocker in his room, turn on his aquarium or music, hug and kiss, and he goes in his bed. There are hardly ever any tears. Usually, he just says ni-ni Momma, yuv yu, and it’s off to sleep for him. Last night, he cried for over an hour. I finally went in there, just to make sure everything was okay. No messy diaper, still water in his sippy cup, no fever or anything……..I rocked him for a few minutes, and put him back in his bed. He promptly stood up and reached out for me, tears streaming down, “please Momma, uppee”……It broke my heart as I said good night and walked out of his room, closing the door behind me. He just sounded so sad. Fifteen minutes later, he finally crashed. At 1:30 this morning, he was back up again. I tried to let him cry it out and fall back asleep on his own. I lay there, waiting for the crying to stop, knowing I wouldn’t fall back asleep until he did. When he started crying “please Momma, please, uppee, please Momma”, I couldn’t take it anymore. I went in there to try to comfort him. When I tried to put him back in his bed, it started up again. Exhausted, worn out, and feeling like the worst mommy ever, I brought him into our bed. He was out in five minutes and slept the rest of the night.
I can’t keep doing this. I can’t make a habit of letting him sleep in our bed. We didn’t do that with the other two, unless they were sick or had nightmares, I’m certainly not going to do this with Ethan. I honestly don’t know what’s going on with him, but he’s been doing this now for nearly a week. I’m wiped out. He’s wiped out too…..He is still napping in the afternoon, but he’s so tired from the crying and waking up during the night that he’s falling all over the place during the day, and cranky. This is just not normal behavior for him. And it just breaks my heart to hear him crying. He’s old enough to understand that mommy isn’t answering his call. This cry is a hurt cry and it goes straight to my heart, that mother’s heart that says my baby is in pain and I need to go to him. Ahhhhhh…….how to get through this latest phase?