Sometimes, I get so caught up in Ryley’s prematurity and how he’s doing, that it’s easy to ignore what might be going on with the other two. I don’t have to worry about them as much. They didn’t have his fragile beginning, they don’t have the scars of an early birth and NICU stay. They don’t have to fight all that Ryley’s had to fight. Not to say that I’m not careful with them, just that I don’t HAVE to worry as much. But then there is the pitfall of maybe missing something that should be caught, something I should be worried about.
Lately, I AM worried about Grace. She is my pretty princess, my only girl, my mommy n me shopping pal, my fellow shoe lover and clothes horse. But lately, something doesn’t seem quite right. Maybe I am paranoid. Maybe I let my worries over Ryley and the things we MIGHT find out are wrong with him as he starts school carry over onto my other children.
I’ve blogged before about Grace’s new nickname being Lolly because she lolligags over EVERYTHING……takes her forever to get from point A to point B. Sometimes lately I wonder if it’s not something more than just getting distracted or taking her own sweet time on things. Even when we say “no lolligagging!” as we head out the door, or get to school, get in the car to go somewhere, get ready for dinner, whatever, she physically cannot NOT lolligag. She gets lost in her little dreamworld, wherever that is, distracted beyond belief. Then she doesn’t hear you until you are right in her face. Sometimes I have to put my hands on the sides of her head and put my face in her face to get her attention. And then there are the meltdowns. Whining is part of having a girl, I am convinced. This little girl has perfected the art. It drives me over the edge. In recent months, she has decided, out of nowhere, that she no longer is capable of doing things for herself. If I send her on a mission to put her pj’s on or find her shoes, she will immediately claim that she needs help/can’t find them/can’t take clothes off or put them on. She might start on whatever task you set her on, but inevitably will get caught midway through and then flip out. I mean really flip out – screaming, crying, laying on the floor kicking and yelling, etc. We instituted the rule of having to try before she gets help with whatever task it is, but even that is failing right now.
Grace has been high drama from the beginning. She came out with a pout on her face. Really…….bottom lip out, etc. I have a picture of it. She did not seem happy that we “forced” her out of my body, 8 days after her due date. Maybe I should have seen the writing on the wall then that this girl would be the lolligagger in the group! Because I had essentially two infants when she was born, I didn’t get to really focus on her. But she was much more content in her bouncy seat, the swing, and then the exersaucer than Ryley had ever been. She wouldn’t let me hold her to put her to sleep…she had to go to sleep in the cradle or her bed. I didn’t nurse her very long because frankly, I wanted my body back after being pregnant back to back years and pumping/nursing Ryley in between. She has never been as fragile. When and if she does get whatever illness might be going around, she never gets it as bad as the boys do. (My dad says she’s like I was when I was a kid….to ornery to get sick!) She’s suffered more than her share of bruises (five black eyes and a broken arm before she was three) thanks to wrestling matches with Ryley, her lack of gracefulness, her tendency to be much more adventurous than Ryley was as an infant, etc, but generally, I have not had to really worry about her health and general well-being.
I don’t know what to make of these latest developments. I don’t knwo what to think. Is there something wrong with her? Or is it just her personality? Yesterday, she was running down the hallway towards the kitchen to go out back. Wide open space, and she suddenly for no apparent reason vears off track and slams into the couch. Jennifer was over at the time and we just looked at Grace as she lay on the floor where she had landed and then looked at each other as if to say “well, that was interesting……” Do I need to worry about her? I feel like a horrible mother if this has been going on and I hadn’t noticed it was a problem until now. I just don’t know. I don’t even know what I might be looking for. Any suggestions?