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Another whine alert

You all are probably so tired of hearing about this particular problem in my household, but the potty issues have reared their ugly head again recently. I’m over being the understanding mother right now, and am just plain frustrated.

He is almost six years old. SIX!!!! In September….we start kindergarten in just over two months. I am absolutely terrified at this point in time to even send him now, even after holding him out for a year. What if this is still happening when he starts school? What if he does this at school? Would he ever live it down? Would the kids laugh? Would he be ostracized? I don’t think I could take that. It would literally break my heart if something like that happened.

Right now, I could just cry….out of fear, pain, and frustration. When we started potty training three years ago, I knew boys were harder to train than girls. I NEVER, in my wildest dreams, imagined that three years later, we would still be having issues. We have talked about this with two of the pediatricians at the group we take the kids to. Because it’s intermittent, they think that it’s a form of attention-getting and/or laziness. I’m not completely convinced. Michael, who normally has way more patience than I do, is even getting to the end of his proverbial rope with this one. Do I call the doctor again? See if there’s something else going on? Wait it out for another month seeing if he finally adjusts to all the changes going on? I don’t even know what to do anymore. I try not to let him see my frustration. I try to take it all in stride. I try asking him WHY this is happening. I try explaining that I don’t want him to get his feelings hurt if the kids laugh at him at school or sports. Nothing seems to affect him. Nothing seems to change it. I realize that with a 26 weeker, we could have so many more problems than this, but this is so making me crazy. Every time it happens, I feel my head start to throb, and the corners of my mouth turn down, and I just want to scream. I CAN’T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Today, alone, he has pooped (yes, pooped! My almost six year old has pooped) his pants TWICE…..TWICE!!! How am I supposed to handle this? Thankfully, this has not happened at school, only at home. I pray with all my heart that if this does indeed continue on into the schoolyear, that he will at least not do it at school. I honestly don’t even know what to say or do anymore.

9 thoughts on “Another whine alert

  1. Oh no…. I’m sorry that you are having problems with the potty again. Who knows if it is a medical issue…. or if he’s just waiting too long before going potty because he’s playing…. it’s a tough call. My Mom went nuts because I had a bed wetting problem as a kid…. I was almost 8 before I got better…. she punished me, made me clean up after myself, do laundry, and wouldn’t let me drink anything after like 6pm…. turns out that from being born prematurely I had a kidney that was not funtioning right. I was admitted to the hospital and almost had to have surgery to fix it. My Mom felt horrible that she dismissed the fact that something could be causing this and that I wasn’t just lazy…. I’m not telling this to scare you…. just maybe have him checked out… if there is nothing wrong…. ask him what it will take to get him to stop having accidents…. what would help him out. You are a great Mommy…. and I know that your patience runs thin at times but I also know that you will hang in there…. Hugs to you!

  2. Oh Donna…. I know this won’t help, but I can understand. Ali has *never* pooped in a potty, ever. I know it’s not exactly the same thing, but I feel the frustration, too. Why doesn’t he feel his BMs? Why am I buying diapers for a 4-year old? Why is this so complicated for him? There seems to be no end in sight here… and in his case I can only thank goodness that I don’t have to worry about him doing this at school, because I would also worry about him getting teased. I wish it would “clear itself up”. Maybe it’s time to bypass the peds and make an appt with GI or a nephrologist?? I would rule out physical problem before I addressed the emotional problems of it. Maybe you are right… maybe once he has adjusted to the new schedule he will be fine, maybe just the stress of his schedule changing flusters him. But, either way, it would be good to know. Wishong you and I both some resolutions.
    Darcy

  3. Oh Donna!!!!!!!!!! I’m so sorry honey! I can just imagine your frustration! I’m sorry to say I haven’t had this problem yet but I am terrified. I know there will be better advice around here than mine so I am just going to offer you my undying support! Hang in there, I swear this too shall pass, I know it! Holding your hand today,
    Donna

  4. Donna oh I feel your frustration reading your blog! My nephew who just turned 7 yesterday – would occasionally have an accident – in fact they were over my house about 3 weeks ago and we were all outside bbqing – he tells his dad he has to go… I RUN with him to the building… and in the elevator… oh mess. I threw that lil’ boy in the shower once we got in the door. I tried not to make it a big deal to him, he seemed very upset about it… so worried about his underwear and where it all was… and it made me think… my sister just had another baby, he’s roughly 4 months old. my nephew himself said that it hasn’t happened in about 6 months (and believe you me, he knows how long 6 months is, he’s a number freak)… as we were outside my sister has her attention to the baby, and my bro in law was playing with my nephew and his brother (3 yrs). and the next week – we were outside again, and I had to run him upstairs again… this time, no accident, we made it up in time. Now I don’t know if it is the same case with you lil’ one, but I do think there is something to it. and – I think the way I was talking to him, how calm I was and I assured him that well, sometimes you can’t control it, it happens, he actually asked me who else it has happened to… I think I spoke to him in a decent way that put his nervousness at ease. I am not too sure how my sister and her husband has reacted to it though. lol… I don’t know if what I wrote helps you at all… just had to SHARE my experience with my nephew to let you know you aren’t the only one!! take care, and let me know how everything goes with da potty!
    HUGS
    stacey

  5. Donna! Sweetie! OH!!!!!!! You are making me fearful …. I know Benjamin is just 2 …. but still … Zero progress …. Geez! It should be easier. But 6 …. I would be at my wits end too. I am SO SO SO SO SO SO sorry that this is still an issue in your house. HUGS! Major Big Hugs! I agree with Darcy …. Ask your ped to give you a referral …. GI doctors are plentiful …. though they are specialists, we’ve never had to wait too long to see one. Take care. Cool off by the pool. Enjoy a tall icy drink. Melissa

  6. Donna-
    I’m so sorry you are having to deal with this. I am totally on board with your fears. What mother wouldn’t be? I am sure you are not alone in this. If your docs are unable to give you answers I would ask for a referral. Darcy is right though, I think it is always better to rule out the medical before you tackle the pyschological. I am wishing you much luck and well deserved hugs. This is one thing I am not looking forward to (potty training) Karen

  7. I agree with Darcy here, maybe it’s time to bypass the Pediatrician and go to an expert. It doesn’t mean you are disloyal to your doctor, you’re just doing what is best for you son. If he does have a medical need, then you’ll get some help. We’re about to start London potty-training. We’ve blocked off a week on the calendar, my husband has taken off a few days, and we bought the Scotty-Potty training doll. According to Dr. Phil, it should only take one day. HA! I doubt it. I’m guessing the Dr. didn’t train a 26 weeker. -Shonda

  8. I wish I had the magic words for you. But I don’t. All I can do is offer a should to cry on when you need it. I would fear the same. I think that we all would. I hope that you can work your way through it. Angi “Phoenix’s MoM’

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