I woke up with a stye in my left eye this morning. What the heck, right? Thankfully, since Gracie is prone to them, we already have a supply of stye medicine in the house. But using the medicine means I can’t wear my contacts. Fabulous. Glasses it is today.
I don’t know why wearing my glasses bugs me so much. For some reason, it takes me back to eighth, ninth and tenth grade, pre-contact lens days for me. I am instantaneously that blah, bland, unnoticed, unnoticeable, shy, nerdy, invisible girl. I think it is the fear I am stil that girl which makes me hate wearing my glasses. I’m not really fond of that girl. While that time in my life was not horrible….I was never bullied or pestered then, I just was….and I have many good memories with very good friends from those years, that girl is not my favorite part of myself.
When I left for college, I worked hard to become the person I wanted to be all those invisible years. I pushed shyness aside. I forced myself out of the box I’d been in all through high school. I made myself outgoing and social. I almost never wore my glasses. While I can still be shy on the inside, I am much more confident….until I put my glasses on. When I have my glasses on, I feel ugly, insecure, quiet, shy, invisible.
So don’t look too closely today. You might not recognize the woman you see. She might look something like that terrifyingly shy, bland, blah 13-15 year old.