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Hope

Last week was somewhat brutal to say the least. I was down and out, and then got kicked a few times for good measure. I was at the point of tears more often than not…unhappy, broken, angry, hurting, feeling pretty horrible about myself.

I did not want to take my princess to her ballet class Friday night. I was so tired. I just wanted to crash into my green chair and veg there all night. But she is committed, so we went. And as I watched her graceful hands and arms as she did her barre work, as I heard the shush of ballet slippers sliding across the floor, and as I saw her face as she danced, heard her laughter, I nearly cried. A calm came over me. A bit of peace slipped into my soul. Saturday morning, we were back at the studio for a make-up class, then we went to the soccer fields where Ry had his first official game for the year. He scored his team’s first goal of the season, and they went on to win 3-0.  Saturday night, we were back at the studio again for Nutcracker auditions. My baby girl was auditioning with the big girls this time…the advanced dancers on pointe. Sometimes she still seems such a little girl to me, but time is flying. We don’t know what part she got yet. She will be cast, we just don’t know where. The next few months will be full of rehearsals, and show week is always insane, but it is fun and exciting for her. She loves to dance.  That at not-quite-twelve, she knows what her passion is inspires and awes me.

Sunday morning…church time. A renewal. Our sanctuary was just remodeled and this was our first Sunday back in there. And it’s beautiful. The service brought more peace and healing to my heart and soul.  I felt hope, and realized that’s what I’d been given all weekend – hope. It’s amazing what hope will do for a person’s outlook. We had a good family day yesterday watching football, talking, hanging out with some friends to plan a neighborhood party. I got a good night of sleep last night.

This morning, I still have hope. E-man has some new plans and a couple of new incentives at school. Fingers crossed it helps. As patient as the school nurse is, I’m sure she could live without my son going into her office four or five times a day. And I know his teacher could live without the disruption to her class. His new anxiety med seems to be settling him, at least at home. Now if we can just spread that to the school day, all will benefit.

Hope is pretty amazing. When you  have hope, it’s hard to be down, much less get kicked while you’re down there. I feel less burden today. And for that small grace, I am thankful.

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