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Accepting

Today, I am learning to be in more a position of accepting, rather than wishing it all gone. E-man is who he is. I cannot change it. I cannot undo it. Some days, that slays me. This road is bumpy. It is oh so hard, for him more than me. That hurts my momma’s heart. But oh the gifts he has simply because of his autism. Those I would not take away for anything in the world. And if I took away the autism, he would not have those gifts. Those are the things that are going to make him wildly successful someday. So we are learning to accept what is, take the good with the bad. And while I still have my days/weeks/months of wishing it would just go away, I am remembering more and more to just accept. Because he’s amazing in so many ways.

This boy is so creative. He will get down on himself for not being able to build buildings from scratch with his Legos, but he makes the most incredible creatures with his Legos. And we’ve been trying since he was four or five to outwit him with the Lego sets he gets. He has yet to have a set stump him (well, maybe the Lego Architecture White House set, but that was four years ago and he wasn’t overly interested in it). Word has it, Santa is bringing him the Millennium Falcon set this year. There are 1,254 pieces to it. My bet is he has it constructed in three hours or less. I love watching him with his Legos. He gets something in his mind and he just goes with it. He will dig through four or five of his bins to find just the right piece. I have no idea how he even knows what he’s looking for, much less where to find it.

He makes connections in his reading that even I, with a literature degree, would really have to ponder to reach. He’s in the highest reading group in his class. I have to work to stump him. And if I tell him the definition of a new word one time, he keeps it locked up in his brain. I’ll never have to tell him that definition again. Even further, he will incorporate that new word into his vocabulary immediately.

He can communicate so easily with adults. And he’s extremely polite (when he chooses to speak). Yes, sometimes that oppositional thing will kick in, or those social issues will overrule, but when he’s on, he’s on. So don’t talk down to him like he’s your regular, run-of-the-mill nine-year-old. He will look at you like you’re a moron if you do.

He has a fabulous sense of humor. He doesn’t always let it show. But, oh, when he does, you can’t help but smile and laugh. His smile lights up the room. His laugh….it’s musical.

He reads like a fiend. Granted, he will obsess about one topic and refuse to read anything but one series for months at a time. But he soaks it in.

He’s a whiz at math and science. As it is with new words, once he learns a new concept, it stays with  him. Further, he takes those concepts one step ahead. He makes those  connections. He extrapolates. I can’t keep up with him.

His memory is crazy. So don’t tell him one thing and then change it. He will catch you and call you on it.

He still believes in Santa, the Elf on the Shelf, the Tooth Fairy, and the Easter Bunny. This just makes me so happy. I needed him to still believe this Christmas. We had a ten minute conversation about Scoutie the Elf on the way to his psych appointment this morning. He couldn’t see my face, so he couldn’t see how I was smiling. We’ve had such a brutal few months, his still believing is healing. As grown up as he can sometimes sound, he is still a little boy, thank God.

Sorry for the list of shameless brags on my boy. I needed it today. I have to remind myself the perfect parts in the midst of the icky stuff of autism. I am becoming more accepting. Because again, to take away the autism is to take away these awesome parts of my little boy. And we can’t have that.

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