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So much for that

You’d think I’d have learned by now to never talk/write about how well my kids are doing, how healthy they’ve been, or how well they’re behaving. Inevitably, they set out to prove me wrong and eat my words, intentionally or not.

I had a meeting today and thus could not go on the field trip with Little Man. After drop off this morning, I was sure he would be okay. He’d told me so himself, hadn’t he? Towards the end of my lunch meeting, I pulled out my phone just to check, and sure enough…two calls and a voice mail from school. I quickly excused myself to check voice mail. Little Man was falling apart, and needed to go home. The message was already fifteen minutes old, and I was more than half hour away from home. I called school. He was calming somewhat. Maybe he would make it through.

I decided on the way home I would just park instead of getting in the line, and go into the office to check on him. Ten minutes away from school, my phone rang again. He wasn’t better. He needed to go home. He was crying and screaming. “I’ll be there in ten minutes,” I told the social worker. You know it’s bad when even she can’t calm him down.

I reached school, and then proceeded to break all the rules….driving up the wrong side of the driveway, going in the out lane of the lot, and then double-parking in the lot. I ran in, and there he stood, stoically silent but with eyes that I could tell had been full of tears. We’re home now. He’s resting on the couch. The bus was loud. He had to wear his headphones nearly the entire time, and that made his ears and head hurt. The noise, being out of routine, dealing with the unexpected conspired to present his perfect storm.

So he didn’t really “have it” as I so blithely posted this morning. I’m sitting here enjoying guilty-mom-status, thinking I probably shouldn’t make any of his teachers ever have to endure another field trip with him. He’s doing what he needs to do to chill out. I’m foreseeing a rather large glass of wine later this evening. I hope his teacher will be able to enjoy the same and recover from this day. It’s one of those days when I would really love to not have emergency mode on call every moment of every day.

One thought on “So much for that

  1. Much sympathy. Between Michael’s medical needs and John’s autism, I have lived in crisis mode for 17 years now. I’ve been taught to wake up believing it will be a good day, things will move along as per each person’s schedule. There will be hiccups, but we’ll handle them. Part of me knows that sooner or later that phone call is coming. As the boys have gotten older, some things have gotten better, but I still keep one eye and one ear open at all times.

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