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An unexpected turn of events

An alert to the men who may be reading this post – the following contains “female stuff” (good grief – I can’t believe I’m writing about this, but I’ve lived my life on blast for nearly ten years now)

i have endometriosis. It isn’t something I talk about much anymore. It doesn’t affect me on a day-to-day basis, only during those girly times. With the help of my doctor, we’ve been able to manage things over the past five years. Aren’t modern-day pharmaceuticals amazing? I’ve had three laparoscopies – one to diagnose the endometriosis, and two to laser it off. I was scheduled for a fourth just when we found out we were pregnant with Little Man. Endo, along with PCOS (poly cystic ovarian syndrome), meant fertility specialists and fertility drugs for the first baby, and just a little help with the third. I’ve pushed it to the back of my mind since having my babies as I knew I wouldn’t have to deal with it in that regard again.

I had my annual exam Tuesday. What woman looks forward to that? In a way, I was anticipating the appointment. I’ve wanted to talk with my doctor for a few months, but not enough to make an extra appointment. I am a 40+ year old mother of three. Things they are a-changing. I just wanted to make sure things are “normal.” I walked out of the appointment with three tests and some blood work ordered. Awesome.

We are done having babies. When I first started going to this doctor, I didn’t want to take any permanent measures. I wasn’t there yet emotionally or mentally. The spouse had already taken care of business, but I wasn’t ready to close the door completely. As the years have passed – the baby will be ten years old next month – I have wrapped my brain around it, and reached that place of just knowing and being okay with it. Those are two completely different things by the way.

I had the first of the tests today. I will admit, I am mildly panicked. What if they find something other than what they’re looking for? What if choices are taken out of my hands? What if it’s really scary? I have the blood work and another test tomorrow, then the third the first week in March. If you’re the praying type, a few words sent up would be appreciated. If you’re not, some positive thoughts/vibes are awesome too.

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