My brain is all over the place at the moment. So bear with me….this post is going to cover a lot of ground, and it may not be completely coherent. You’ve been given fair warning!
First off, we are walking as a family on Saturday in our tenth March of Dimes March for Babies. The fist time we walked, Little Man was just a year old. We had the big double stroller, and had to take lots of snacks and stuff to keep our toddlers entertained. I cried that first walk. My miracle was four years old. He’s now 13. He walks beside us, or runs in front of us. He knows he’s the reason we got involved. He knows his entire story. I am still in awe. And I still usually cry at the walk, for him, for all the other miracle babies we will see there, and for all those babies who earned their angel wings entirely too soon. There’s a lot of work, and some stress, leading up to the walk every year. Once that morning arrives, however, it is all about celebrating. It’s kind of like a race….by the time the morning of arrives, all the work is done. We have family and friends who walk with us. I don’t know they know how much it means to me. This time of year, as well as the month of Big Man’s birthday, brings back so many memories. I spend a lot of this time posting photos from his NICU time, telling our story, writing our story, and just mentally reliving those days, weeks, and months. I dreamed the other night we were back in the NICU. Those sights, sounds, and smells never leave your memory.
Second, along the same lines, and in follow up to my post from Monday….I am not a sensitive preemie mom. You don’t need to guard your words around me. I know that while our story is not unique, it is also not overly common. I would love to live in the world of not knowing what I know. I am envious of those who don’t know what I know. While I feel a responsibility to help educate and advocate, it takes a lot to offend me. Typically the only time I am offended is if someone has a term but small baby and calls him a preemie just because he fits in preemie clothes, or if someone decided for convenience or comfort’s sake to be induced at 36 weeks and then complains of issues with her baby. Then I’m seriously offended. So please don’t guard your words around me.
Third, I ran a ten-mile long run this morning. Just over three weeks until the OC Half Marathon. I know I’m physically capable. Long runs and races have become more of a mental challenge…..working on nutrition, hydration, motivation, breathing, gait, stride, form. My “wall” has moved from mile 8 to mile 9, which is an improvement, but it’s still a wall and it irritates me. I got new shoes over the weekend and tested them out this week. Shoes have improved so much. And the ones I use now, I have been able to essentially take them out of the box and run ten miles without any issues. BTW…..I wear Brooks Ghost 6. It took me four years to find the shoe that really works for me.
We had free HBO over the weekend. They ran a Game of Thrones marathon leading up the premier of the new season Sunday night. Spouse and I have both read the books but hadn’t watched any of the shows. We recorded every one last weekend, and now we’re obsessed. We’ve hardly watched anything else all week. Each night, we can’t wait for the kids to go to bed so we can start watching, and we’ll go through one or two episodes a night. It’s much easier to keep track of the characters watching the show than it was reading the books. Even when you know what’s coming, you still get caught up in it.
Spring Break is next week (and the week after) for our kids. Yes, they have two weeks off. Trust me, I wish it were only one week, and that we would get out one week earlier in summer. They’re ready for a break, especially Little Man. We’ll be going on a road trip with two other families to the Grand Canyon. This should be an adventure!
Little Man has had a pretty good week. He’s had three very good days in a row. He’s completely off the anti-anxiety medication. We will start the Abilify next week while we’re on break.
I went with Big Man’s class on a field trip yesterday to the IMAX theater in Balboa Park, the Fleet Science Museum, and the Zoo. I have to hand it to middle school teachers. I don’t know how they do it every single day. Thirteen year olds are a lot like toddlers in so many ways. It was entertaining, fun, and exhausting. I did love the opportunity to spend the day with my son. And, bonus, it was only when they were eating lunch he didn’t want me around.