So, yes, Little Man started a new medication over Spring Break. I was anxious about it. He was anxious about it. He actually calls it his “angry medicine” because no matter how it may seem he’s completely not listening nor engaging during his appointments, he is taking it all in, and that’s what he took from the discussion of this new medication.
He was pretty tired the first few days of this trial process. I debated continuing as we were getting ready for our road trip vacation, but I knew this was the best time to give it a go, without the pressures of the school day involved. He was relatively tired the first few days after we upped it to his full dose, but the kids were also up later than usual as we were on the trip, and we were hiking, biking, and running around all day. This week has been the real test as he is back at school. He’s been in his classroom every day, all day. He had one minor hiccup yesterday when he got hungry and didn’t have any snack with him (As a side note, he hasn’t had any snack at nutrition recess in over two years because he’s never wanted anything to eat at that point of the day). Other than that, he seems to be doing well. I haven’t had any emails or phone calls. I am calling that good.
What am I seeing? He is much calmer. We are nearly to the point I’m willing to try him at school without his ADHD medication. His poor teacher, however, has been through the proverbial wringer with this kid this year and I debate foisting a medication experiment on the woman. Honestly, end-of-the-year gifts are going to cost me a fortune this year for his team alone. But back to the matter at hand….It seems we are in a good place. My boy is not raging. He is pretty level. The two extremes he hung at before are not extremes now.
I am, in the back of my mind, holding my breath. A) It takes four-to-six weeks for the full value of this medication to be revealed, good, bad, or indifferent. B) This (having an autistic child) is truly one of the biggest roller coaster rides I’ve been on in my life, outside of the NICU. C) Last I checked, there are no “magic pills” for autistic kids. There are tools to help them, some of which are medications. But there is nothing that is going to make every day completely okay and “normal” for him. Am I seeing good because I desperately want to see good? Or have we found what works for him?
We have six weeks left of school. I am hanging on by the tips of my fingers, praying we can make it to the end without any more huge episodes. I could do without any more of *those* phone calls from school. His team could likely live without my boy going completely sideways on them. I dare to say we are in a decent place, in this moment. I’m going to take that for what it is, and revel in it. I don’t know when it will happen again.