I’m feeling so blah today. Not even a good workout is pulling me up out of the depths. I hear the cave calling, sucking me in to that dark, lonely place. I’m tired. I just want quiet, and sleep, and to not have to “do”, ya know?
The last few months have been harried and hurried. The weekly to-do list is constantly overwhelming. Busy, busy, busy. It seems there’s always something that needs to be done, some place I have to go, some task to complete. The races, and training for races, chairing a committee, fundraising efforts with our family team, events, trips, volunteering at school…..I’m so ready for the end of school.
The last two weeks really beat me down. My mind is craving a break that isn’t coming. All the end-of-the-year activities at the kids’ schools are lining up…..7th grade Renaissance Faire, 7th Grade portfolio night, volunteer lunch, volunteer breakfast, 6th Grade Greek Olympics, Open House….I love being involved, but I am having to force myself to go, dragging my feet every step of the way. It’s a “should do” rather than a “want-to-do”.
There are dishes in the sink, laundry to be done, floors that need to be vacuumed, windows to de-fingerprint, a Costco run to be made. I don’t want to do any of it. I want to hide in my recliner or in my room. The cave is pulling me in. Sometimes I go there willingly knowing I’ll be better for time spent there recuperating. Sometimes It draws me in unexpectedly. That’s where I am in this moment. I just want to not have to do. But there’s no time for that. So I’ll fight the pull for now. Suck it up, and fake it til I make it. Twenty more school days. I can do this for 20 more days, right?