The night before school started last year was an unmitigated disaster. Little Man cried for hours. He was inconsolable. And he didn’t sleep at all. And we know how, despite every best effort, last year went. Needless to say, there was some anxiety on my part in the days leading up to the start of school this year. He did let us know he was feeling some stress and “worries.” He didn’t necessarily verbalize it, but his behavior definitely showed the struggle.
Yesterday, the white board outside his room once again held the schedule for the week. We went to the school to meet his teacher and see his new classroom. Backpacks were prepped. Clothes were washed and laid out. New shoes stood ready by the door. We had a lazy last day of summer. As bedtime approached, I started to stress. Would we have a repeat of last year’s night before school? Would he hold it together? Have we really turned a corner?
He had some anxiety. I won’t lie. He even told us he was anxious (that’s new – being able to actually say he is anxious). He came back downstairs about twenty minutes after we sent him up, asking for his melatonin. He probably came back downstairs four more times. Each time, I was worried the tears would start. He just said he was having trouble falling asleep. He struggled until almost 11pm, coming into our room, me taking him back to his room and laying down with him, and us finally caving and letting him in our bed where he fell asleep within five minutes. But, no tears.
I was sure I would cry today. It is the first day of our last year at this school. But I held it together. No tears from me either. He did well this morning. He did have some accelerated breathing, and a little anxiety, but mostly he was happy to be there and get settled into his desk. He will be done with his first day in less than two hours. I can’t wait to hear how it went. I’m praying to see a smiling face when I pick him up, and that our day remains tear-free.