This week has been a struggle, personally. I’m drained and frustrated, pushing back against every day’s responsibilities. I woke up this morning, a list of things which must be done today looming over my head. I felt the anxiety building before I was even out of bed.
The older two kids are slugging their way through end-of-the-year projects. I see the value in what they’re doing. I do appreciate each piece of each project and what they’re teaching my children. I just wish all these projects wouldn’t get jammed in at the same time, at the end of the school year. We’re all exhausted, drained, counting the days until summer, trying to battle through two or more multiple-media projects per kid. Add to this all the end-of-year activities….two more parents’ days at lunch, three awards ceremonies, one graduation, the 7th grade Renaissance day (for which I’m supposed to volunteer or donate, as well as put together the Princess’ costume), the 8th grade dinner dance (for which I discovered yesterday Big Man will need new dress pants as he’s outgrown the pants we just bought in December)…..this all on top of our usual schedule of golf lessons, dance classes, and football practices.
We also have our annual fundraiser at the end of May. The next four weeks will be insane and stressful. I know the night itself will be amazing and so fun, but getting there involves a crazy amount of work and thought. We also have a long list of projects around the house to finish before the event. I stare at that list every day, trying to figure out how it’s all going to happen. As this is our tenth annual event, I have such high hopes, and don’t want to be disappointed. I’m trying to just let it be what it will be, but it’s hard. We have a goal in mind for our fundraising efforts, a goal we’ve had for the last five years but have never reached. I try to remind myself to keep it in perspective, that every dime counts, but it’s hard when something means so much to you, is such a huge part of your heart.
Two days before the fundraiser, I’ll run our spring book fair at school. Leading up that are meetings, volunteer coordination, set-up, and promotion. I love book fair. That’s why I volunteered to chair this year. But at the moment, it just feels like a pesky mosquito buzzing around my head.
My to-do list hangs over my head as I sit here. Yes, I’ve been working on it all week, but somehow it keeps growing larger rather than smaller. I’ve had two anxiety attacks in the last 36 hours. As I was herding the herd through the morning routine this morning, I realized I needed to take a moment for me. I needed a breath. I thought about all the things I need to get done today – dishes, laundry, calling this or that person, scheduling a few appointments, filling out dental paperwork for the Princess, dropping off an unexpired inhaler at school for Little Man, buying gift cards for staff appreciation and dropping those at school…I tried to find a way to get that all done and still have a moment to sit here and read a few blogs, write a post, before the Herd gets out of school. It didn’t seem to be possible. As I pulled into the driveway from dropping Little Man at school, I decided not to wait to be done with the must-do’s to do what I need to do. So I walked in the house, re-filled my coffee cup, and sat down here to spend a few moments with my blogging friends. I’m feeling a million times better already. Thanks for listening, friends. You’ve improved my day immeasurably.