Home » Autism » Knife in the gut

Knife in the gut

Yesterday afternoon was kind of a hellish one with Little Man. As per usual, I received a text from his teacher with the homework for the day, and a reminder their Genius Hour projects are due next Friday. I checked in with him the status of his project. His response? “I don’t have one.” What the???!! Cue mom freak out. So then I made him pull out his backpack and empty it. In it, I find his homework folder with all kinds of things he hasn’t turned in, and a bunch he hadn’t finished. My fault partially because I’d been taking his word for it his work was done.  I didn’t handle it well. There may have been some  yelling. Okay, there was yelling. Not one of my finer mom moments. I was pissed. Not only did he NOT do his work, he lied to me about it. That infuriates me, autistic or no. Big Man and Princess happened to be in the room during this episode so they got involved in the lesson too…you want to freak mom out to the extreme? Lie to her. That’ll get you in deep each and every time.

Little Man cried a bit, but he did his work. He kept apologizing, mostly because he lost all electronics and is grounded for a week. I accepted his apology, but he remains grounded, which I had to explain to him. He thought since he did the work and apologized, he had fixed it. Not so, Little Man. You lied. There are consequences for your actions.  Hard for him to wrap his brain around apparently. We’re getting there.

After he finished his work, he had to empty out the rest of his backpack. He handed me a large envelope, you know the ones…the large envelope addressed to “The parents of so-and-so.” I opened it thinking it was just his special ed progress report, not remembering this is his tri-annual year. As I flipped through the papers the envelope contained, my breath was sucked out of me, and I felt I’d been punched in the stomach. Enclosed in the envelope were all the parent assessments for the tri-annual evaluation. I hate those things. They remind me off all his challenges, and little of his strengths. Filling them out makes me sad. I know I have to do it, but I dread it.  They’re sitting on the desk beside me, staring me down at this very moment. I will get to them. It has to happen soon. But there was no way I was going to get through them yesterday. Not after an afternoon such as that.

There may have been wine last night. There definitely was wine last night, and some escape into a trashy novel before bed. Today, I just don’t have the mental stamina to face those assessments. Maybe tomorrow. Or maybe Monday.

7 thoughts on “Knife in the gut

  1. I feel for you! Maybe buy a backpack all your own, start a folder that you can hide them in and claim they were done and you don’t know what happened to them? I like my idea. Or maybe turn all the papers over and just list all the things that you like about your son, that he does well and hand them in like that. Or there’s always “the dog ate it”. So sorry. (((Hugs))) Parenting is hard. Give yourself grace ❤ You're doing a good job.

  2. Wine tonight and every night. I turn into my alter ego when I’m lied to so I get it!!! That type if paperwork is soooo depressing. Fill it out when you are ready to.

  3. ” He kept apologizing, mostly because he lost all electronics and is grounded for a week. I accepted his apology, but he remains grounded, which I had to explain to him. He thought since he did the work and apologized, he had fixed it. ”

    Little Man made me smile with this.

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