Oh, doesn’t everyone love getting emails from their child’s specialized academic instructor (SAI)? Some of them are good. Some of them aren’t so good. Some are half and half. But I always, always flinch when I see them come in.
I got an email from Little Man’s SAI yesterday. There was some good stuff first. I think she likes to soften the blow. She’s nice that way. But then the hammer comes down (with her, it’s a stuffed hammer, she’s just so darned nice, but a hammer nonetheless). Yesterday’s hammer was her letting me know he’s been yelling at other students at school. Typically, he yells when he’s frustrated, when someone won’t be quiet or leave him alone, or when someone is being annoying. Let’s just say, he yells a lot. I sighed heavily, as I’m doing now. I didn’t respond yesterday.
I made myself get back to her this morning. I cc’d his teacher. His yelling is a double-edged sword. On the one hand, it’s good. In his world, it means he’s comfortable in his environment. He wouldn’t be letting ALL his true colors show if he were still feeling uncomfortable with the newness of the school and the people. So the yelling is actually a good sign that he’s settled in. It also tells me he’s advocating for himself, granted letting someone know they’re annoying you could and should be handled in a much better manner than yelling at them. But still, he’s letting his emotions be known. So, yay Little Man!
Booo, hissss that he’s yelling. We’re working on it. He yells a lot at home. We know it isn’t a good way to make friends or keep friends. Not many people are going to want to hang out with someone who yells all the time. You aren’t going to win many popularity contests if you yell constantly. And, as I said, there are much better, more acceptable ways of getting your point across. We stop him when he’s yelling at home, remind him how his tone is being interpreted by the other person in the conversation, ask him to lower it, remind him to use his calm words to get what he wants or needs. Trust me, this goes on a lot.
I hope they (at school) don’t believe we just shake our heads at him when the yelling starts. It’s a battle we’ve been waging for a few years. I will never excuse it, but I do understand it. We just need to funnel all that self-advocating down a more acceptable path.