I was seriously adult-ing today. I mean it. I put on my fancy heels with bows at the ankle, along with some dress clothes, grabbed my cute computer bag and headed out the door at 6:50am….to work. Seriously. I wouldn’t kid you about this.
I did mention a couple months back I had started working a small job. Well, shortly after I started that job, a posting came to me for another admin job, still mostly from home, but really out in the real world, with women. I frantically put together a resume, something I haven’t done in thirteen years. I had to somehow account for, but not highlight, the last six years of being at home with the Herd full time. I am blessed with some friends who are fabulous resources, and had a lot of help. And then came the interview. I haven’t had a job interview in ten years. I was extremely nervous, but the interviewers were incredibly nice and put me at ease, giving me an opportunity to talk about something I’ve been successful with for quite some time. It boosted my confidence right out of the gate. That afternoon, I got a call that they wanted me! Training started a couple of weeks ago. Today was my first meeting and event.
I was terrified this morning….TERRIFIED!! I haven’t done this in so long. I haven’t had to be a professional in years. But as the nerves mounted, I reminded myself I have been in situations with board members, at fundraising events, and at conferences. I’ve had to put on that voice, that face, that persona. I just had to pull that long-shelved muscle out and use it. Guess what? It felt really good.
I’d forgotten this me for the most part. I’m so used to being someone’s mom, or someone’ wife. I’d lost a bit of me. I don’t regret for one single second being home full-time for the last six years. I love it. I’m grateful to have had the choice. But along the way, the confidence falters when you’ve been home and are suddenly in corporate-land for whatever reason. I was feeling like I had nothing to talk about, nothing interesting to give, outside of talking about my rather amazing, totally beautiful babies.
Today, even though I was nervous and internally freaked out, I walked differently, talked differently. I have work; I have a job. I’m doing something for me. It’s mine. I’ve been more confident all week, more decisive. I like it.