A few days back, a friend shared an article with me, written by a woman whose husband was diagnosed as autistic at age 30, just after their daughter was diagnosed. The woman wrote that the things she loved most about him were his most autistic traits. That hit me, hard.
As a mom, and even though we are very, very, (hopefully) very far away from knowing the people my children will each marry, I think about them sometimes. I started praying for those particular people a few years back, but I pray especially for the woman who will marry my sweet Little Man.
She will need to be patient. She will need to listen to him talk on and on whenever he gets obsessed with some particular topic or object. She will need to be patient when he needs, constantly, to have certain things just so. She will need to understand his need to decompress after extended periods of time with people. She will need to be okay with him wanting to stay home sometimes. She will need to get that he doesn’t really like to travel, but he will do it, under duress, to please her. She will need to know that he won’t really like her to make new things for dinner, but would rather stick to his tried-and-true chicken strips, pasta with butter and Parmesan, cheese pizza, chicken and noodles with white sauce, and plain bread. She will have to tolerate computers and parts of computers laying all over the house. She may need to learn to sleep under a weighted blanket. She will need ear plugs so she doesn’t have to listen to him grinding his teeth or yelling out in his sleep. She will need to love his quirky, pun-filled sense of humor. She will need to be able to listen to his ideas without her eyes glazing over. She will need to be able to tolerate his music and videos playing in the background, always. She will need to get that he doesn’t “get” everything. She will need to know how to pull him up when he’s in that very dark place. She will need to remember that he forgets, and know to remind him. She will need to appreciate his desire to wear sweat pants every single day. She will need to love his brilliance, his sensitivity, the amazing way his mind works.
I pray for her, all the time. She will need to be special to take on my boy, but what she will get in him….she’s a lucky girl, and she will need to know that, or she won’t be good enough for him. I pray for her.