We had cheer uniform fitting for the Princess last night. It really hit me – she’s starting high school in a few short months. As a cheerleader, she will be in the spotlight, and smack in the middle of the high school social whirl. And as long ago as it was, I remember being fifteen, being in high school, and there is so much I would tell her, so much she won’t hear.
Primarily, I would tell her that high school isn’t the whole world. It feels like it when you’re in it, but it truly is such a small chunk of your life. They are formative years, but they don’t create a person who doesn’t change from then on out. I am not the person I was when I started high school, not the person I was when I finished high school. Oh, yeah, some of that is there, always part of me, but I’ve continued to grow as a person.
We talk about boys. Thank goodness she still talks to me about boys. I had to laugh as yesterday she told me she notices boys, notices if they’re attractive to her, but then notices how immature they are. I smiled, and let her know that definitely doesn’t change in high school. She giggled.
It’s really interesting, and completely terrifying, to watch it from this perspective. There’s so much ahead of her, so much potential for heartbreak and disaster, so many dreams to be pursued and realized, so much reality to hit. There’s an excitement, but also a sadness, a nostalgia for the little girl with the long blond curls and a fondness for mud. I’m excited to watch what the next four years will bring. I’m anxious about what she will face, how she will handle it. My heart aches to keep telling her there’s so much more to life than high school. My momma instinct wants to sit her down and tell her everything I think she will need to know to navigate high school waters, but my momma brain says she won’t hear it.
We were driving home from the studio last night, and Taylor Swift’s song, “Fifteen” came on. I wanted to pour every word into my Princess, wanted to make sure she heard what the song was saying, because even though it’s a song, it has so much wisdom in it. My prayer was that even if she won’t listen to me specifically, she might listen to those words and remember them.