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“Are they twins?”

Once the Princess hit about two years old, we heard the question a lot, “Are they twins?”. She and Big Man weren’t that far apart in size. She talked early, he talked late. The fact he was still somewhat behind developmentally due to his prematurity, it wasn’t completely out of the scope if you didn’t know us, know them, and didn’t look or listen too closely, for them to appear to be twins. They are twelve months and nineteen days apart.

When we decided to late-start Big Man in kindergarten, a year after he could have started, we knew we would also late-start P just so they wouldn’t be in the same grade. That wouldn’t have been fair to him, and it wouldn’t hurt her at all to wait a year given a mid-October birthday. Then in just the natural order of things, he grew much taller than she. We weren’t asked any longer the twin question.

Now we’re here….she’s almost fifteen, he’s almost sixteen. She’s had her growth spurt, he has not. He is taller than she, but only by about a quarter-inch.  Earlier in the summer, we were randomly asked a couple of times on vacation if they were twins. Then, at registration at the high school the other day, they were asked three times. THREE TIMES!!! This in spite of the fact the cards they were handing over to be signed at each station were different colors for their respective grades. We laughed it off, but at the same time, it stung a little bit. It didn’t really bother P, but it seemed to be getting to Big Man, especially the third time.

I pray, every single day, his delayed puberty will kick in, and he will finally grow. I pray, and I pray, and I pray. I cringe when I see the questioning looks when they’re together. Life just isn’t fair sometimes, is it? I can sense his frustration, although he seems to really try to take it all in stride, and he has an amazing sense of humor, which does help. We just keep reminding him it will happen, and eventually he will tower over his sister. We may still occasionally get the question, but my guess is it will be much less of a big deal for him and for me.

5 thoughts on ““Are they twins?”

  1. I think some people are also just ignorant. A flight attendant on our last trip asked me 4 times on different occasion if “she” would like this or that. My son is so obviously a boy. First time I thought I just misunderstood her. And then I told her again and again that “she” is in fact a boy. He laughed it off and just shook his head but I started getting annoyed. He does not look like a girl at all. His hair was longish but eve with that he did not look like a girl. I think she just had her mind set on him being a girl for whatever reason and simply ignored reality…

  2. I always got a kick out of it when people thought my brother and I were twins. We were born eleven months apart and we looked a lot alike; we both had naturally curly hair, and as teenagers back in the 70s we had the same hairstyle — long, parted in the middle, very curly — which made us look even more alike. We also tended to dress alike a lot of the time, so I guess you could say we asked for it.

    What was more surprising (to me, anyway) was how many people mistook my son and his little sister for twins — he’s three years older than she is! It’s true that she was an early talker and he was a late talker, but even so, it always surprised me when people asked me if they were twins. They were never even close to being the same size.

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