Home » About Me » Trading Places

Trading Places

When Spouse and I first met, I was the outgoing and social one, he was the quiet, introverted one. My friends and family were worried in the beginning he was too quiet. I knew it just took him time to warm up to people and open up. I’ve noticed in the past four or five years, we seemed to have traded places. I would consider myself more of the shy, reserved, quiet person I was growing up. Now he’s the one always putting stuff on our social calendar. He’s the one wanting to go, and do, and be with. I’m super content with quiet nights at home – maybe because I don’t get them very often. But I find myself forcing myself to be social, the same I used to do when I was in middle school and high school. And I will reach maximum capacity at some point in any given outing/event/party.

I don’t know when things started changing. If I were being honest, I might have to say it was when we moved from Northern California to  Southern. I left everything behind – career, family, friends, church…all things familiar, comfortable, supportive, safe. I don’t regret our move one bit, other than I miss my family, miss my kids growing up close to their cousins. But our life here is way more than it would have been had we stayed where we were. I do think I lost all confidence after the move. Having to start over, find a new job/career, make all new friends, find my place in our new world…..that’s really hard on a person who is, behind it all, shy, insecure, unsure of herself.

So many of the old fears and insecurities have returned. I get anxious getting ready for a party where Spouse will be the only person I know well, while he will know almost everyone. I get anxiety walking into a social situation alone, even when I know everyone there.

I just find it odd that, over time, we’ve traded places. Has anything like that happened in your relationship?

8 thoughts on “Trading Places

  1. First off, your children are gorgeous 🙂 I can totally relate to your post. I am or should I say was the gregarious one and my husband the quite one, but it seems our positions have shifted a bit. He’s far more outgoing than I am these days. I don’t know if it’s accountable to having migrated severally from place to place, that it takes me some time to adjust to the new place.

    There are a number of ways we’ve flipped our roles but the big two have got to be financials and parenting styles. I used to worry constantly about my kids and now that two are grown and I see the end result, I worry MUCH less about the younger two, and NOW he fusses! lol
    He used to be spendy and I used to scold him and now that we have more money, I’m more spendy and he’s like “Whoa there!”
    I have encountered this sorta flip with many of our couple friends. It’s a thing! 🙂

  3. Most definitely!
    If I would want to save, he would want to spend. I’m feeling adventurous, he is feeling frugal! If we should happen upon the same feeling at the same time about something then we know it is a “go.”

    I think it changes as you change cycles throughout the years. I was always the quiet one, not walking up to people at parties and such. Now he is the one saying “do we really have to go!” I did finally figure out the more “stuff” I had going on with the kids the more likely I preferred to be reclusive. Now that one is away at college and the other (don’t know what we are doing after he graduates, but no longer sweating it) may be going off I am tending toward more social activities.
    But that may change tomorrow!

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s