Home » Autism » The School Dance

The School Dance

Little Man is in seventh grade, which is technically  middle school around here. Middle school is 6th through 8th grade. His school though is really more of an extended, upper-grade elementary school, 4th through 8th grades (it’s 4-7 this year, and will go 4-8 next year).  They don’t change classrooms and teachers for every subject (he has math and science with one teacher, language arts and social studies with another teacher). They don’t have a locker room nor do they change for PE. The school looks and feels like an elementary school, for the most part.

The staff does realize their school is unique, which is great, but it also means they need to take steps as the kids progress to those upper grades on campus to prepare them for high school. With that in mind, the sixth and seventh grade leadership asked to be able to hold a dance for just their grades, for Halloween. I didn’t think anything of it when we got the recorded call from school with all the info. I didn’t think there was any way Little Man would willingly go to a school dance. So imagine my surprise when he brought the permission slip to me to sign! He wanted to go. All-righty then!

The dance was after school yesterday, running from 3pm – 4:15. I’d talked to him over the weekend and again yesterday morning he would have to stay the entire time as we were carpooling with his friend A, who is also in seventh grade. He seemed to get it. And he seemed okay with it. I told him to expect it to be loud.  “No worries, mom, I have my headphones!”

It was 3:20 when my phone pinged with a text. He said it was really loud. I told him to put his headphones on. He said he did, but it was still too loud. I reminded him I’d told him I was not going to pick him up early, and then when he asked why, I reminded him we were carpooling and it wouldn’t be fair to make A leave early when he was having a good time. Little Man sucked it up.

I arrived at school right at 4:15. I could see him pacing in the lobby. He had his headphones on, backpack in hand, ready to bolt out the door. One of my friends said he’d been there for some time, pacing and anxious. I could see the stress on his face. I don’t count it as a loss however. He went to a school dance. Yes, he only stayed in there for maybe a half an hour at maximum, but he went. He put himself into a social situation willingly.  He didn’t stay inside the entire time, but he went. My autistic child went to a school dance of his own volition. Isn’t that awesome?

10 thoughts on “The School Dance

  1. Totally awesome. I love that he asked, was brave and stuck it out, and then found a way to cope. I’m sure it was hard to see him stressed out and pacing, but he found his way to get through and wait it out!

  2. It certainly is awesome. Kudos to him for sticking some of it out, and for his handling of the rest. Kudos to you for your teaching him how to cope with stressful circumstances without going in to meltdown. I know that was meant to help him cope with senior school, but it looks like he brought them into play early.
    Surely this is a sign of how he’ll use his new coping mechanisms in future.
    xxx Huge Hugs xxx

  3. What a huge step! Middle school is a challenge every way you look at it, and school dances are doubly so. Big hugs to him for trying something new!

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s