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Suddenly

We have spent years dealing with a child crawling into our bed at all hours of the night, nearly every night. I’ve become so used to having a foot in my face, getting punched or kicked randomly, hearing the grinding of teeth, or him yelling out that sleep disruption is just a natural state. He learned last year to not ask if he could climb in, but rather to sneak in from the foot of the bed. Sneaky little man.

I’ve had awful insomnia the last few nights, awake from 3:30am – 5am, and I mean wide awake, brain spiraling. One of the things that hit me as I struggled to find sleep again was that Little Man wasn’t in our bed. Not only was he not in our bed, he  hasn’t been in our bed for awhile now. Suddenly, he is staying in his own room, all night. Suddenly, he is sleeping through the entire night. Suddenly, he isn’t waking us at 3am, yelling, hitting or kicking his wall, crying, or crawling over us to sleep between us. And it happened just like that.

He will be thirteen next month. I forget that sometimes, as emotionally and socially  he seems SO much younger. But his body is that of a near-thirteen-year-old, so hormones are changing. He sleeps longer. He sleeps more deeply. Oh my gosh – he’s doing something “normal”.

We knew the day would come we didn’t have a child crawling into our bed, or attempting to crawl into our bed. That’s probably why I didn’t really fight it much for too long. He’s our youngest, and I think I wanted to hang onto those precious moments, in spite of the fact it was a serious disruption of my sleep. They grow up too quickly, that time is so very fleeting. At the same time, I’m relieved he’s sleeping – getting what his body desperately needs. I’m relieved he’s sleeping the night through, in his own bed. Suddenly, he sleeps.

6 thoughts on “Suddenly

  1. I understand.
    When they come crawl in bed with us, usually mornings, never to sleep, I’m always happy. These times get further and further apart, and eventually stop. ❤ I'll accept even two minutes of cuddles before coffee, thanks.

  2. I felt guilty when Mary was little and we were sleep training. People are very anti children in bed. But there were times where it was no option. When Rock was gone on business and she was sick it was either in my bed with me or wrapped in a chair. Selfishly I chose my bed. Today I napped with her and Rock said it was nice to see, because someday it won’t happen anymore. I admire you so much for what a great mom you are.

    • We were so strict with our older two – sending them back to their own beds unless they were sick or it was a Saturday morning and we were having a snuggle fest. It’s a lot harder to be so strict with your last baby.

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