I truly didn’t plan to have two kids twelve months apart. I get asked that a lot. I barely had a grip on having one child when I found out the Princess was on her way. I cried. Spouse laughed. Who does that – has two so close together? We did. I wrapped my brain around it, and dug in for the ride.
Big Man, being a preemie, was developmentally nine months old when the Princess was born….not walking, still in an infant seat, still in diapers, still on bottles. It was rough going. But, on the flip side, the two of them have never know anything but the other being there. They have always been close, and it’s been an amazing relationship to witness. I thought they would brawl like crazy. Nope. Not in the least. They played together, they destroyed together, they drove me insane together. They learned together.
Last year, they were at different schools. They both seemed – at least in my eyes – to struggle a bit without each other, not that they hung out together at school, but knowing the other one was there seemed to give them each balance, strength, a base. This year, they’re both in high school, together. They move in different circles, although they do have a couple of overlapping friends (those friendships totally intrigue me because Big Man and P are SOOOOOOO different from each other). I still love their relationship.
I took all three to the mall a couple of weeks ago. Little Man is his own gig entirely, but the other two were asking each other if this shirt, those shorts, this jacket, these shoes looked good on them. I could see how they’ve always been, and I could see how they will be all their lives. They rely on each other. They bounce things off each other. They talk to each other about things they may or may not share with their brother, their parents, or their friends.
Their future boyfriends/girlfriends/spouses will have to pass the sibling test. They will have to understand and accept their relationship. They should know that, and just deal. To try to split that relationship apart would spell the end.
Sometimes I feel bad for Little Man – he is not as close to either as they are to each other. He’s the youngest, and just doesn’t have the same relationship with either as the older two have. I don’t know if he notices it.
I love that these two are so close. While I was completely freaked out about having two twelve months apart, it’s been the most amazing gift to them, and to me.