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Pretty Sure

I am pretty sure that I completely suck at mothering teenagers. This. Is. Hard. Stuff. I haven’t felt so incapable since I was a brand new momma. My biggest goal right now is to somehow keep them all from hating me the rest of their lives, and to get them through this growing-up process to become not-a-hole adults. But, oh lordy, I fear I’m failing.

I don’t know about you….if you’ve already mom’d teens, or are in it, or are heading towards it, but this phase has brought out all my own teenage insecurities. I know I’m not good enough. I know probably every other mom of teens is way better at this than me. I know I’m second-best. I know, despite my desire for the best for them, I’m failing them in every way possible. I know I suck at this. Every eyeball roll, look of disdain, or angry/impatient response reinforces the idea I am the “Worst Mother Ever”, or at least the dumbest.

Half the time, I don’t know how to respond in the moment, so I shut down, keep my mouth closed. When I’m not sure if what they’re telling me is a “Big Thing,” or just something that seems big but should be chalked up to typical teenage reaction, I go mute. Pretty sure that isn’t helping anything, but I’m flying by the seat of my pants over here. And my kids are good kids. I pray God we don’t have to face real trouble, particularly since I feel I’m incompetent as it is.

The thing is, I had a grasp on this mom thing. I’d figured out their personalities, knew who they were. Β Those people are still inside the growing beings inhabiting my house now, but so much is changing, and I’ve felt that grasp slip away.

I don’t want to fail them, but I’m terrified every single day that’s exactly what I’m doing. I guess I’d be worse off if I weren’t afraid of failing them. Β However, I am fairly sure I suck at this.

24 thoughts on “Pretty Sure

  1. I used to say God did not bless my children by making me their mother. But you know what? Because I didn’t want to fail them, and because I was constantly trying…. I didn’t fail them. You won’t either. Breathe. Your kids are lucky to have you. You will get through these years. And you and your kids will be all the better because of the good AND the struggles you go through together.

  2. Only good parents fear they are failing . . . have you ever noticed that? At some point, several points really, every mother worthy of the title has felt this way. Believe in yourself momma. Besides, I survived four and they are all amazing, respectful, and love me without question. I made mistakes, the only perfect parents are the ones who don’t have kids 😜 I rocked it, so are you!

  3. I have the same types of fears. The thing is, none of us have done this before. They’re new at the whole teenage thing too. Hang in there and know you’re not alone. Being a parent is hard, but I’m sure you are far more successful than you’ll ever realize. ❀️

  4. You don’t suck at it. Hold firm. The kids won’t like you again until they graduate upon which time you will once again be deemed smart, cool and they will thank you for all you’ve done.

    It is really “on the job training.” Keep praying, go with your gut and don’t compare yourself to other parents. Each child has unique needs and challenges that we must adapt to.Their hormones will drive you insane if you let tI hem but i promise you they will become lovable once more!

    Both of my boys, now 18 and 19 recently thanked me on two separate occasions for all I’d done. I almost hit the floor in shock but it was rather nice to hear. πŸ™‚

  5. I can’t imagine you suck at it. I mean, I think most of us are cut out for specific stages. Like, my husband was really good at infant care and I was not. But like, I didn’t fail them just cause I wasn’t confident about it. So even if teenagers are not your forte as a parent, loving them and being there for them is still what’s important, and you do that. You worry about your abilities, you pray for guidance and for them, you’re surely doing a great job.
    Also, just letting them talk to you, big or small, that doesn’t change. You got that bit down, so what they tell you, well, that’s on them.
    They’re supposed to be moody and irrational and you’re supposed to be consistent.
    You got this! πŸ™‚

  6. You are a good mother. Your children are healthy, clean, well-dressed, talented, and even if they do give you attitude,they know you love them. Teenagers are such seething cauldrons of hormonal turbulence it’s best not to take their attitudes personally. I know that’s hard. I love my boys dearly, but some days they both make me crazy. Hang in there!

  7. Hate to disagree but I’m fairly sure you’re not. We all feel that way, and it’s totally not possible that we’re ALL failing our teens, so I vote that we’re all doing pretty okay. Hang in there. If my parents made it, anyone can! πŸ˜‰

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