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His Perception

I had an impromptu meeting with Little Man’s principal yesterday afternoon during after-school pickup. It was positive – I know they have LM’s best interests at heart. As the principal put it, they’re “all hands on deck” for him, particularly now, given what’s gone on the last few weeks.

Little Man hasn’t been going to class. Lord knows what he has been doing, but he hasn’t been in his classrooms. We’re working to fix that. The problem is he’s sure anytime anyone laughs when he’s nearby, they’re laughing at him, making fun of him. His teachers, SAI, and the principal are trying to catch it in the moment so they can help him see it is his perception, not reality.

Little Man has always had this thing….if one “bad” thing happens during the day, then the entire day is the worst day ever. If something bad happens during a certain activity, then he’s sure it’s going to happen every single time he does that activity. If someone laughs at him once, then every time that person laughs, he’s laughing at him. That’s his perception, skewed as it may be. Our job is to help him see that’s not the case. It’s tough work.

We have to help him overcome his fears and worries. We have to help him understand his perception isn’t always the way it really is. We have to move him past this hurdle. But this is part of his autism. his reality. He perseverates, gets beyond anxious, then does everything he can to avoid whatever situation he’s worried about. In the meantime, his grades fall and he loses friends. It sucks.

He has to be ready for high school….moving between classes, staying in class the entire period, managing social situations that are unavoidable. We have to help get him ready for that, so we’re all utilizing some tough love to get him past this current hurdle. We’re back in a phase of being on high alert nearly every minute of every day.

As for Halloween, he had probably his best yet. He went out with his friend across the street. I was not with him. Normally, he taps out after about the fifth house. This year, he was out for over an hour, and made it all the way around the loop. Then he sat in the kitchen with Big Man and a bunch of high school boys, interacting and talking. At one point, he did get a bit overwhelmed. He just looked at me and said, “I’m getting anxious…it’s too much.” I got him to a quiet space for a few minutes, but he recovered quickly and then was right back, re-engaging, laughing and talking. Huge wins, all night long, for him.

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