Little Man has a field trip today. His class will visit all four public high schools in town. They call it “Jump Aboard.” I am freaking out, just a little bit.
Field trips for him always give me anxiety. He hates the bus. It’s loud, it’s out of routine, the kids are usually over-excited. It’s always been a trial with him, since Kindergarten. Then there’s the process of getting him through whatever they’re doing. He took his headphones today. I’m not sure if his SAI will be with him or not. Every time I think about him navigating four high school tours without losing it, I twitch. I’ll be on high alert all day today, until I pick him up this afternoon.
The other reason I’m freaking? This just makes it more real the fact we are at the point I’ve been trying to put out of my mind the last couple of years. We have to choose where he’s going to be for the next four years. We have to figure out what environment is going to best suit him and his needs. I haven’t wanted to think about this. I want to stay in the land of denial, and in the relatively-comfortable zone we’ve found at his current school. They know him. They know how to handle him. They know his quirks, his needs, his anxieties, his amazing mind.
I look back three years ago when we started this decision-making process for middle school. I remember how stressed and anxious I was. I remember my fears and all my worries. I know we made the right choice for him, that it all worked out, and that this too will work out, and someday I’ll look back on this time and wonder why I was so very anxious.
We want what’s best for him. We want him to be happy with the decision, and to buy into it, so he will be part of the process. Today is the first step on this new part of his journey. So, yeah, I’m a little freaked.